7 years ago Emilie & I were getting ready to begin a life-group around our firepit when I received a phone call that would forever change life, the way I looked at the world, and the way I viewed my relationship with God.
On the other end of the phone was my uncle telling me that my grandparents had been in a motorcycle accident & things weren't looking good for either of them. We lived 3 hours away. We finished our group & left.
I will never forget walking in the hospital room & seeing my grandma there. She looked like herself, but at the same time she didn't. So many emotions, questions, wishes, regrets...all came flooding in at once. I will never forget pleading with God to heal her. Yet nothing happened. She didn't get better & we had to make a difficult decisions the next day. I will never forget it. I was angry & I was mad & I was sad & I was confused. God chose not to heal her. The strongest woman in my life, the woman I knew prayed for me every day, and multiple times a day was gone. He didn't heal her. Or did He?
As the years have passed, as I have grown closer to God & matured I have come to the realization that God did heal her, just not in the way I wanted Him to. My grandma will never hurt again. She will never experience sadness again. She is where followers of Jesus long to be...in the presence of the God who created her, called her & sustained her. He healed her...and made her perfect...and called her home.
As hard as it is to think of all the things she missed in my life & my family's life...I can honestly say I am no longer sad. I miss her dearly. Every day I miss her. Life would look much different if she were still here. But she's not here...she's with Jesus. And that is the reason I am not sad. I rejoice in knowing that she is experiencing the fullness of God & complete joy that she prayed I would experience for so many years. I rejoice knowing that I will see her again. I rejoice knowing that she will always be my grandma, and I will always be her grandson. Death did not defeat her...a motorcycle accident did not defeat her...death was not the end, because we have a hope in the One who defeated death.
I cannot wait to see her again...and she better have a cherry pie waiting for me...
Mary Rita Raney